The Three Brains: Why Your Chimp Speaks First.

You walk into a meeting five minutes late.

Not ideal, but hey, traffic was a nightmare, and you had a bad night. You barely settle into your chair when someone comments something mildly condescending, a little passive-aggressive, probably unnecessary.

And before you know it, bam, your heart rate spikes, your body temperature changes, and you’re already crafting the perfect comeback. It’s not even 9:30 AM, and you’re ready to go full gladiator in the conference room (even if it is only in your mind).

That, my friend, is your chimp brain swinging into action. Fast. Emotional. Unfiltered. And very much in charge. Whether you like it or not, the emotional brain is always the first to react.

Meet Your Three Brains – Dr. Steve Peters’ Framework

If you’ve ever wondered why workplace conflicts happen so easily, Dr. Steve Peters offers a simple yet powerful explanation: we don’t just have one brain managing our reactions, we have three. And they are not created equal.

The Chimp Brain (a.k.a. Your Emotional Brain)

The fastest to react, the loudest in the room, and the most instinct-driven. This is the brain that flares up when you feel dismissed, overlooked, or attacked. It’s pure emotion, and it acts before logic even gets a chance to warm up.

But here’s the twist: your emotional brain isn’t just a drama queen. When well-managed, when you take the time to understand it, channel and nurture it, it becomes your intuition center. Is that gut feeling about a big decision? That sense that something isn’t quite right in a deal? That instant connection you feel with certain people? That’s your emotional brain at work. When cared for, it doesn’t just react, it guides, and it’s usually right.

You are born with your chimp, and it never changes. Just like the colour of your eyes, your emotional brain is wired from birth (hard truth, I know). So, you cannot change it, but you can certainly learn to work with it, and make it work for you.

The Human Brain (a.k.a. Your Thinking Brain)

Logical, rational, and responsible for decision-making. This is the brain that steps in when you take a breath, pause, and assess a situation. What Viktor Frankl referred to as “the space between stimulus and response”. It’s great at solving problems, just not fast. While your chimp is already mid-swing, your thinking brain is still tying its shoelaces.

But here’s the good news: your human brain is in constant development. Unlike the chimp, which stays the same, your human brain learns, grows, and adapts over time, until the end of your time. The more you train it to recognize and manage your emotional brain, the better they work together, and the more coherent you will be as a person, as a leader, and as a parent.

The goal isn’t to silence your chimp—it’s to get your human brain and chimp brain aligned. When that happens, your thinking brain listens to your emotions instead of fighting them, and your emotions inform your decisions instead of hijacking them. That’s when you perform at your best.

The Computer Brain (a.k.a. Your Habit Brain)

The real powerhouse. This brain stores all your patterns, habits, and learned behaviours. It’s 20 times stronger than the chimp, who in turn is five times stronger than the human brain. Consequently, most of what you do isn’t a conscious decision, but a pre-programmed response.

Your computer brain is fed daily with data, both shaping your mindset and behaviours over time and remaining open to changing patterns when new actions are consistently introduced. If your habits support emotional intelligence and rational thinking, your computer brain makes that the default. If you’ve built patterns of reacting impulsively, well… your computer brain is more than happy to keep that going, too.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

Now, here’s the kicker: everyone around you also has these three brains battling for control.

It’s easy to spot when someone else’s chimp brain is off-leash. The colleague who snaps in meetings or the person in traffic who honks half a second after the light turns green; everywhere you look, you’ll find someone’s emotional brain taking the wheel.

But here’s the real shift: the only chimp you need to manage is your own. You have absolute control over the way you manage your emotional and human brain.

Understanding this three-brain dynamic changes how we approach workplace interactions and conflicts. Instead of wasting energy diagnosing other people’s monkeys, focus on understanding how yours operates. Learn how to spot when your chimp is about to take over, how to ask for space when you need it, and how to reset before responding. And when someone else’s emotional brain is running wild? Instead of escalating, step back. Be the person whose human brain stays in charge.

Because the truth is, no one gets through life without a few (or many) wild chimp moments. We’ve all had that meeting where we felt attacked, that email that made us want to fire one back, that moment when frustration got the best of us. But once we recognize what’s happening in our brain, we become far better at handling it in others.

So, before your next difficult conversation, ask yourself: Am I showing up as the human or the chimp?

And with that, I think we all have some homework to do.

Cheers (to you and your chimp),

Rosana

Fun fact: Dr. Steve Peters suggests you name your chimp. It will be easier to have conversations with it.